Snack Prophets: Unpacking the Mysteries of Crispy Fates
Welcome, snack enthusiast, to our humble abode of crunchy prophecies. Our team of snack prophets has been divining the futures of snack packets, bagged chips, and all things crispy since the dawn of time.
Mystic Predictions for the Month of Crispiness
Our latest prophecy reveals:
- Next Tuesday, the bag of Cheetos will reveal its hidden flavor of the gods (spoiler: it's still cheese)
- On the 14th, a rogue bag of Takis will be discovered in your desk drawer, claiming it's not a hoarder, I swear
- By the 21st, the price of Popcorn will drop by 50% due to a global shortage of kernels
Popular Prophets
Our most sought-after snack gurus include: